Sep 28, 2014

Paleo parenting: Could you do it?

Who wouldn’t love an apple? We’ve been eating them since caveman days. Who wouldn’t love an apple? We’ve been eating them since caveman days. Source: News Corp Australia
I was a child of the Slim Fast Phenomena, where women the world over drank a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and a 500 calorie sensible dinner. And then I suspect at about 10pm they ate the entire contents of the fridge before starting all over again the next day.
But food “movements” have gone insane lately, with celebrities now endorsing particular “life choices” when it comes to what they consume. During social situations, it is almost deemed compulsory to be following one of them.
“Hi there! My name is Barbara. I am a lemon detox dieter and enjoy thrillers at the cinema.”
“Nice to meet you Barbara. My name is Lisa and I work as an accountant, when I am not following The Zone like some sort of lunatic.”
Cabbage soup diet: You never wanted to get stuck in a lift with someone on this. Cabbage soup diet: You never wanted to get stuck in a lift with someone on this. Source: News Limited
And then of course, there are the Celebrity Chefs, who are making money hand over spatula by hitching their wagon to the latest ‘lifestyle movement’. But is it all bull?
According to the Dietetic Association of Australia there are many to avoid.
NSW Dietician Jessica Melmoth says, “Fad diets can potentially be harmful in the growth and development of children. Therefore, should be considered carefully when being applied to the whole family. The best approach to healthy eating is to follow a long-term, healthy and balanced eating plan and to exercise regularly.”
So ignoring that, I thought I would instigate a 24-hour challenge to my family, made up of one husband and two young boys. We were going back, way back in time. To the era where fire was discovered. To a time where you would run, arms flailing crazily about your person, as you were hunted down by giant beasts, such as sabre tooth tigers and cave hyenas.
Yes. We were going paleo.
Generic pic of a boy caveman with his laptop computer. What did you say mum? Source: News Limited
I told them over dinner, as they ate beef stir fry steeped in oyster sauce and served over Hokkien noodles. My beloved immediately pulled out of the challenge as he is too heavily invested in his relationship with sour cream, and does not believe in depriving oneself of anything. The two kids didn’t seem to care, because sensibly they do not understand dieting anyway.
But that is just it! It is not a diet ... It is a way of life!
A way of life in the extreme for some devotees. Extreme paleo mothers are shunning digital devices and returning to the type of play that paleo kids would have done back in the day. No one is ever going to argue that free-range kids are the way to go but extreme paleo parents adopt ancient child rearing philosophies such as baby carrying and co-sleeping. And in some cases, they do not use nappies, preferring a more natural (albeit messy) process of elimination.
It’s not just a diet, it’s a way of life. It’s not just a diet, it’s a way of life. Source: News Limited
The result of all this outdoor/nature time is a natural exhaustion, which is treated with early bedtimes in blackened out rooms, a bit like a cave. It all kind of makes a bit of sense to me. (Apart from the nappy bit.)
What? I have a weak stomach!
So as dawn broke over the suburban street that I live in on Day 1 of living paleo I was hunted down by starving minions insisting that if they didn’t eat, right then and there, that they would perish.
I served the kids some scrambled eggs (no milk involved) for breakfast. The little one just refused while the big one asked, “Where is the toast?”
Scrambled eggs, but where’s the toast mum? Scrambled eggs, but where’s the toast mum? Source: Supplied
I explained to him that toast didn’t exist 10,000 years ago, and they were only just getting themselves sorted out with the fire thing. I followed this with some chopped up fruit. But not any fruit. Only fruit that can be described as “tart” such as blueberries and apples. By this stage the little one (who really doesn’t eat anything) chucked a wobbly, so I pulled him out of the challenge.
So that just left two.
We are a family who eat cereal and fruit for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch. Thrilling stuff! So getting through the day without reaching for the evil and shunned grains that make up these foods was a bit of a challenge.
Just as nature intended us to eat, caveman style. Just as nature intended us to eat, caveman style. Source: News Corp Australia
As lunchtime was approaching, I scoured the web for paleo lunch ideas. I must admit that I found them to be sensational! I settled on a chicken wrap, which was to be wrapped in lettuce. With other vegies, it was quite nice, although I think I would have preferred it with a dollop of caramelised onion. I took my plate to the sink and it was at this point I found the last remaining paleo team member hooking into some 2-minute noodles.
And then there was one.
Paleo, you can’t compete with this. Paleo, you can’t compete with this. Source: News Limited
That night, dinner was a simple steak and salad affair, with a lemon and olive oil dressing. I told them happily that I had completed my day as a paleo follower, and they could not have given two hoots. So I watched, as they tucked into some particularly evil ice-cream and I thought to myself ... “What the devil do cavemen eat for dessert?”
Why, that would be maple-topped paleo Plantain Brownies! So let me conclude my 24-hour paleo stint by saying this. People who follow the paleo movement are a very passionate bunch. Chef Pete “for paleo” Evans is perhaps our most high profile advocate when it comes to paleo. He is to nutrition what Hillsong’s Brian Houston is to modern faith, growing their churches side by side. Not quite a cult, but there are still sermons and believers. And when there are sermons and believers, there is politics and protesters.
To Pete and his nearly 300,000 followers, best of luck to you. If you feel good and are happy, that is all the validation you should need.
But the call of the carbs makes it too hard for me and as for paleo parenting ... school holidays are hard enough without having wannabe cavemen running around, too.
Mrs Woog is a blogger at www.woogsworld.com

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